| Some more quotes from GAA commentators/managers/players.
- "The first half was even, the second half was even worse."
- Pat Spillane
- "Its all over... Jeeeesus! The cigarettes are being lit here in the commentary box,. the lads are getting anxious, its a line ball down there to Clare and who's to take it? Will ye put 'em out lads ye'll feckin' choke me."
- Matthew McMahon, Clare FM, Munster Final 95.
- "Is the ref going to finally blow his whistle? ...No, he's going to blow his shaggin' nose!"
- Radio Kilkenny, Kilkenny v Wexford National League match
- "My only consolation was that I held Tomas Mannion (Galway's corner back) scoreless."
- Joe Brolly recalls a dire performance against Galway
- "It wasn't your fault. It was the feckin' eejits that picked ya."
- Anonymous fan, giving some faint praise to a player
- "Sheep in a heap."
- Michael 'Babs' Keating's verdict on his Offaly team
- "That referee must have no wipers on his glasses!"
- Eddie Moroney, from his legendary 1992 commentary of Aherlow's U21 Tipperary county win
- "I don't want to be biased, but what was the referee at there?"
- Sean Walsh, of Galway bay FM
- "The stopwatch has stopped. It's up to God and the referee now. The referee is Pat Horan. God is God."
- Micheal O' Muircheartaigh
- "He can take the ball from one end of the field to the other with just the player's occupations."
- Jack O'Shea, on Michael O'Muircheartaigh's unique style
- "The men of Ireland were hurling when the gods of Greece were young."
- PJ Devlin (c.1924)
- "There won't be a cow milked in Clare tonight."
- Marty Morrissey after Clare's 1992 Munster Championship victory
- "There won't be a cow milked in Finglas tonight."
- Keith Barr, after Erin's Isle 1998 All-Ireland Club semi win
- "If Offaly win the National League again this year it will be the greatest accident since the Titanic."
- Paul O'Kelly of Offaly
- "I find it hard to see how my northern cousins could get so worked up about counties created by British imperialists."
- Colm O'Rourke, speaking on Ulster TV
- "Did you have to explain to the English what hurling was about?"
"No, but I have to explain it to the people of Wicklow."
- Des Cahill and Dara Briain, former Wicklow hurler
- "Any word of the (Clogherhead) Dreadnoughts Sean? Will they ever take on the Man-O-War?"
- Sean Og O Ceallachain, quoting reactions to his radio club result broadcasts
- "The difference between winning a club and a county All-Ireland is when you get a slap on the back after the match, you actually know the person when you turn around."
- Thomas Meehan of Caltra
- "A fan is someone who, if you have made an idiot of yourself on the pitch, doesn't think you've done a permanent job."
- Jack Lynch
- "The International Rules series was a bit like the Vietnam War. Nobody at home cared about it, but everyone involved sure did."
- Leigh Matthews, the Australian coach
- "And Tom Chesty breaks through with Kilkenny defenders falling around him like dying wasps."
- Micheal O'Hehir
- "Paidi O'Se is buttoned up like the most devout girl in the Amish community when it came to the pre-final interview."
- Tom Humphries
- "There is a level of politics in hurling. I don't think Henry Kissinger would have lasted a week on the Munster council."
- Ger Loughnane
- "In the dust of defeat as well as in the laurel of victory, there is glory to be found."
- JJ Meagher
- They were playing automatic football. When one Cross player won the ball another half-dozen began to set themselves up for participation in any one of several possible scenarios.
- Eugene McGee, "The Irish Independent"
- The miracle of the GAA is that it works so well despite itself. Paranoia, self-doubt, trenchant conservatism, fear of outside sports and veneration of the past are all key parts of the GAA psyche. In order to love the GAA, you have to swallow these faults whole.
- Keith Duggan, "The Irish Times" (2002)
- "Several broken sticks, two broken heads, and two bruised fingers were part of the afternoon's play, for hurling, the Irish national game is the fastest and probably the most dangerous of sports. It is a combination of hockey, football, golf, baseball, battle and sudden death. It was a real Irish game."
- Daily Mail, reporting on a match held in London (1921)
- "Could I suggest that in future the GAA allocate a five-minute free-for-all before the television coverage of its games to dissipate the aggressio, tension etc?"
- Letter to "The Irish Times" (1996)
- "Does the GAA take its democratic principles from the Tammany Hall school of democratic politics, or that former great bastion of democracy, the Societ Communist Party?"
- Letter to "The Irish Times" (2001)
- "When knowledge of the rules is the preserve of a few, this confers a certain power on these few, which is unhealthy and undemocratic. Are there 40 people in this hall who could confidently put a motion in order for Congress? Are there 30? Are there 20? Are there 10?"
- Sean Kelly, President's address to GAA Congress (2004)
- "The first time I brought the boys to a match they were chocked at the abuse being heaped on Sean. I kept trying to tell them it was the referee they were shouting at but they said, 'Mammy, the referee isn't bald'."
- Wife of Meath manager Sean Boylan
- "I'm always suspicious of games where you're the only ones that play it."
- Jack Charlton, asked about hurling
- There is something pigheaded about Wexford this season, something pigheaded and perverse and oddly beautiful. In certain lights they are starting to look heroic.
- Tom Humphries, "The Irish Times"
- If Wexford Hurling Ltd was a company and we had produced the results that we have over the last 25 years or so, we would have been declared bankrupt long ago.
- Phil Murphy, "Wexford People"
- "I often wonder if we changed the names of counties and jersey colours and started all over again, would it make a difference?"
- Kevin O'Brien, on life with one of GAA's lesser lights, Wicklow
- Goalie: Must have 'great goalmouth presence'..... which is secret code for being fat enough to have his own gravitational pull.
- taken from "The Truth about Junior Football"
- Bogball and Stickfighting.
- George Byrne's view of the national games, "Evening Herald"
- A prominent rugby coach from the Southern Hemisphere who has been at many Gaelic football matches this summer said that he has given up trying to figure out which way the referee will award a free for a tackle. Will the man in possession be penalised for holding on and not playing the ball, or will he gain a free because an opponent has tackled him illegally?
Well, I have news for the man from Australia. I have been playing and watching Gaelic since I was knee-high to a grasshopper, and I haven't a clue either. Gaelic football has regressed to being a sort of glorified contact-basketball.
- Sean Diffley, "The Irish Independent"
- We should wave goodbye and good riddance to the ill-bred hybrid that is the International Rules series... the reality is that Australians are deeply unpleasant when they lose and unbearable when they win. The truth is that, through ignorance and blatant disregard for sportsmanship, they destroy the very sports in which they bend every rule to excel. The truth is that they call 'ultra competitiveness' is in fact a national mindset which elevates thuggery to an art form. Aussies just don't give a XXXX about fair play. All of Ireland's key footballers and those who performed admirably in the first fixture victory were taken out by foul means in the first few minutes. The truth is that if Australia needs to win that much, if they are prepared to besmirch sport and abandon civilised behaviour, they can have it.
- Jerome O'Reilly, "The Sunday Independent" (Nov'06)
- Offaly appear to have made a small error in the paper work involving ordinary subs and 'blood' subs. Did Offaly gain any advantage from the mistake? No. They have allegedly breached a rule so complex in its wording that even experienced GAA administrators can't agree on its interpretation. Vastly experienced Leinster Council officials met in conclave on Monday night and had to concede defeat before asking the Central Council for a ruling... some of the rules are written in such vague wording as to be virtually unfathomable. However, there's a bigger problem. In a new age where everything is challenged, the spirit of any rule seems to mean nothing. Never mind that our Johnny punched an opponent off the ball in full view of everybody. Yes, but did the referee word his report correctly? He didn't? Thank God for that loophole.
- Martin Breheny, "The Irish Independent" (May'06)
- The only acceptable recipients of money from the GAA are administrators, coaches, security, bar and catering staff, hawkers, programme sellers, pirates, general scavengers, some managers... but no players. Stalin or Fidel Castro would love the way the GAA has and is being run. Even if something is wrong nobody questions it.
- Colm O'Rourke, in Ireland's "Sunday Independent"
- "There are some things in life that are more important than money and the GAA is one of them."
- Joe Brolly
- "Dublin are playing conventional Gaelic football, Tyrone are playing a system that virtually guarantees them success until they come up against a team that's playing a similar system of play, that's equally astute tactically. The only meaningful battles that Tyrone had last year were against Armagh who played five half-backs. It turned into a war of attrition. It was a totally different level of football in terms of the tactics and strategy than anything else that's going on in Ireland. Tyrone don't have a higher work rate than other teams, it's just that they deploy their players in a more sensible way. They appear to be taking up conventional positions at the outset and try to get back to those at times and it helps conceal it... When Ryan McMenamin breaks up the field to score a point, it is not spontaneous, but painstakingly rehearsed. When the ball drops in midfield, everyone around has a role to fill. When they win back the ball players fan out in concentric rings as they launch a counter-attack in what is essentially a defensive game, with a lethal retaliatory sting."
- Joe Brolly, interviewed by Dermot Crowe in the "Sunday Independent"
- Battle-hardened National League supporters are a more weather-beaten animal than their Championship counterparts.
- Eoghan Corry, on 'fair weather fans', "Evening Herald"
- "If we don't do something about it, in 10 years' time there will be no need to start the championship until August because there will only be 4 or 5 counties competing. Hurling is like an old country house where the front has been maintained. It looks grand from the road but when you go inside you find that the place is falling down."
- Conor Hayes, Galway hurling manager, interviewed in 2006 in "The Irish Independent"
- 'We're taking this match awful seriously. We're training three times a week now, and some of the boys are off the beer since Tuesday'
- Offaly hurler quote in the week before a Leinster hurling final vs. Kilkenny
- 'Ger Loughnane was fair, he treated us all the same during training-like dogs'
- anonymous Clare hurler
- 'Any chance of an autograph? Its for the wife...she really hates you'
- Tipp fan to Ger Loughnane
- 'I'm not giving away any secrets like that to Tipp. If I had my way, I wouldn't even tell them the time of the throw-in'
- Ger Loughnane on his controversial selection policy.
- 'You can't win derbies with donkeys'
- Babs Keating before Tipp played Cork in 1990 (Cork went on to win the All Ireland...the shower of donkeys!!!)
- 'Babs keating 'resigned' as coach because of illness and fatigue. The players were sick and tired of him'
- Offaly fan in 1998
- 'And as for you. You're not even good enough to play for this shower of useless no-hopers'
- Former Clare mentor to one of his subs after a heavy defeat
- 'Babs Keating was arrested in Nenagh for shaking a cigarette machine,but the gardai let him off when he said he only wanted to borrow twenty players'
- Waterford fan after 2002 Munster final (right funny man!!!)
- 'They have a forward line that couldn't punch holes in a paper bag'
- Pat Spillane on the Cavan football team
- 'Meath players like to get their retaliation in first'
- Cork fan 1988
- 'Meath make football a colourful game-you get all black and blue'
- another Cork fan 1988
- 'Colin Corkery is deceptive. He is slower than he looks'
- Kerry fan
- 'Life isn't all beer and football...some of us haven't touched a football in months'
- Kerry player during league campaign 1980s
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Roscommon fan after the controversial 1980 All-Ireland final: Hi ref, how's your dog?
Ref: What do you mean? I don't have a dog.
Fan: That's strange. You're the first blind man I've ever met that doesn't have a guide dog!
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I used to think it was great being a wee nippy corner forward, but it's better now being a big, fat one.
Ollie Murphy
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They shot the wrong Micheal Collins
Ollie Murphy to referee Micheal Collins after Donegal beat Meath in last year's championship.
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He'll regret this to his dying day, if he lives that long.
Dublin fan after Charlie Redmond missed a penalty in the 1994 All-Ireland final.
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Now listen lads, I'm not happy with our tackling. We're hurting them but they keep getting up.
John B.Keane ventures into coaching
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Paddy McCormack (digging a hole along the ground with his boot): You're young Kearins, from Sligo. I presume you expect to go back to Sligo this evening.
Mickey Kearins: Hopefully.
McCormack: Well, if you don't pass the mark, you have a fair chance of getting back.
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Behind every Galway player there is another Galway player.
Meath fan at the 2001 All-Ireland final.
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When Joe Brolly is winning, he's objectionable. When he's blowing kisses, he's highly objectionable.
Cavan fan
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He wouldn't see a foul in a henhouse.
Frustrated Sligo fan's judgement of the ref after the 2002 Connacht final.
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There are two things in Ireland that would drive you to drink. GAA referees would drive you to drink and the price of drink would drive you to drink.
Another Sligo fan at the same match.
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You get more contact in an old-time waltz at the old-folks' home than in a National League final.
Pat Spillane
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We're taking you off but we're not bothering to put on a sub. Just having you off will improve our situation.
Manager to a club player in Derry.
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I warned the boys they couldn't go through the league unbeaten, and, unfortunately, they appear to have listened to me!
Tyrone's Art McRory after losing a league match.
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(Reporter interviews Kevin Moran on TV after the 1978 All-Ireland final)
Reporter: How's the leg Kevin?
Kevin Moran: It's fuc..... it's very sore.
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He's as useless as a back pocket in a vest.
Kerry fan on Colin Corkery.
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Colin Corkery is deceptive. He's slower than he looks.
Kerry fan
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I think Mickey Whelan believes tactics are a new kind of piles on your arse.
Disgruntled Dublin fan
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Q: What's the difference between Paddy Cullen and a turnstile?
A: A turnstile only lets in one at a time.
Kerry fan after Cullen conceded five goals in the 1978 All-Ireland final.
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The rules of Meath football are basically simple: if it moves, kick it; if it doesn't move, kick it until it does.
Tyrone fan after a controversial All-Ireland semi-final.
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A Kerry footballer with an inferiority complex is one who thinks he's just as good as everybody else.
John B. Keane
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